Fans: Make Yourselves Useful

This guy


desperately needs us. What can we do to help him?

Three seasons ago, a group of women from the Red Sox Fan Forum (self-nicknamed the BOSTONS* and including the sistahs) started a tradition of "showering" a struggling Red Sox player with postcards carrying encouraging messages. The idea was to try to counteract the booing that slumping players receive at the ballpark by producing a wave of postcards over a short span of time. Each recipient was chosen, carefully and selectively, to receive ten postcards from each BOSTONS lady. Red Sox Chick has more background.

We haven't yet done a postcard shower this season, and I suggested to the sistahs earlier today that Matt Clement's current situation is the very sort the postcard showers were designed to address. Clement has had a rough season, with his last two starts being especially difficult as detailed in these two recent columns by Boston area sportswriters.

As readers of this blog, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to join us in sending 10 postcards to

Matt Clement
c/o Boston Red Sox
4 Yawkey Way
Boston, MA 02215
and to get them in the mail no later than Tuesday, June 6. That will get the postcards to the ballpark in time for the team's brief homestand against Texas on June 9, 10, and 11. They can be picture postcards, funny postcards, whatever you like. The message should be simple. Don't ask for anything in return; you don't even have to sign your name. I sign my postcards simply, "One of the BOSTONS" and leave it at that.

Right now, the Red Sox need pitching help. Roger Clemens isn't coming back. David Wells' future is uncertain at best. A double-A pitcher is slated to start tomorrow night. Matt Clement's success is the team's success. If you love this team, do your part to help him.

(*BOSTONS = Babes Offering Support To Our Needed Sox)

Beazer on National TV

Extra! Extra! Our very own sistah, the one and only Beazer, is going to tonight's Sox-Yanks game, and all of you will be able to see her! (Actually, she went to last night's game too, but she was sitting out in right field somewhere, whereas tonight she'll be more visible.)


Be sure to watch for her on either NESN or ESPN, depending on where you live. For those who don't know what she looks like, here's a recent picture, hanging with Red Sox prospect Jed Lowrie (she likes younger men, you know):

Live Text-Messaging between Two Different Games: An Evening in the Life of the Sistahs

The scene is Worcester, Massachusetts, around 6:00pm this evening. I'm leaving work and heading to Hanover Insurance Park at Holy Cross College for opening night of the independent Worcester Tornadoes, which in its first year of existence won the 2005 Can-Am League championship. I have a single ticket to the sold-out game.

Meanwhile, not far away in Boston, Beazer is riding the T on her way to Fenway Park to watch the Sox and Yankees in the second of their three-game series. It's less than 24 hours since the Good Guys summarily dispatched the Evil Empire by a score of 9-5, though it wasn't even as close as that sounds. Beazer too has a single ticket for her game.

I ring up Beazer on the cell phone. Do me a favor, I ask, text message me with updates. I'll be at the Tornadoes game. No problem, she says.

Slightly more than an hour later, while I'm watching the Tornadoes get their rings, the cell phone vibrates. It's an incoming text message...

WARNING: The following exchange has not been edited. If you are offended by vulgar language or poor punctuation, STOP READING NOW.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
7:09 - Beazer - Demon just led off the game with a home run

7:10 - Triumphant Red Sox Fan - Fuck.

7:12 - Beazer - Wake got the rest of the side out

. . . . . . . . . . .
7:51 - Beazer - 2-0 yanks in the third

7:51 - Triumphant - How did the 2nd run score?

7:57 - Beazer - Did i say 2 i meant 3 fucking demon hit a double

8:02 - Triumphant - I hate him.

8:09 - Beazer - As do i

. . . . . . . . . . .
8:17 - Beazer - Men lob are killing them

. . . . . . . . . . .
8:42 - Beazer - I'm freezing they are losing and batshit tavares is warming up

8:42 - Beazer - Dougie has two passed balls one just resulted in the yanks fourth run

8:54 - Triumphant - I don't suppose it would make you feel better to know that the Tomatoes [inside joke name for the Tornadoes] are winning...

9:02 - Triumphant - 4-1, I hear. How did we score?

9:02 - Beazer - At least one of us is having fun fucking jt snow just killed a rally with a double play dougie knocked in a run for us

. . . . . . . . . . .
9:10 - Beazer - Slappy just hit a three run home run tavares is now in maybe he'll hit posada

9:15 - Triumphant - So what you're saying is that spilled MFY [Mother F***ing Yankees] blood will make it OK?

9:21 - Beazer - Pretty much

9:27 - Triumphant - Just keep reminding yourself that whatever happens tonight, the MFY still won't be in 1st place when they leave.

9:28 - Beazer - That is what makes this not so bad

. . . . . . . . . . .
9:29 - Beazer - Holy shit manny just made it 7-4 with one out!

9:31 - Triumphant - What inning?

9:33 - Beazer - 7

9:33 - Beazer - The yankees lefty specialist just walked trot

. . . . . . . . . . .
9:42 - Beazer - Doug mirabelli - rally killer - 7-4 yanks top of eighth and david riske is in did they send down lenny?

9:44 - Triumphant - THEY SENT LENNY DOWN?? :(

9:47 - Beazer - I dont know someone had to go i dont know who

. . . . . . . . . . .
10:02 - Beazer - Farnsworth just imploded in the 8 two on one out and torre brought in rivera to pitch to papi

10:02 - Triumphant - Holding my breath...

10:06 - Beazer - Papi got out manny hit a single that knocked in a run trot is up

10:07 - Beazer - Trot is out 7-5 top of the ninth

10:07 - Triumphant - Tomatoes closer just coughed up a 3 run lead, tie game, 1 out. Grrrr...

10:09 - Beazer - Oh for cryin out loud what is with our boys all around

. . . . . . . . . . .
10:11 - Beazer - Papelbon is in to face the top of the lineup

. . . . . . . . . . .
10:20 - Triumphant - Are you alive?

10:21 - Beazer - Mohr is our last chance

10:25 - Beazer - Mohr is out game over 7-5 i hate demon and slappy

10:25 - Triumphant - Yeah, T's just lost too. Fuck.

10:29 - Beazer - Well this night sucked

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
And that, dear readers, is a glimpse into the life of two sistahs who go to ball games alone... but are you ever really alone when you and a sistah both have cell phones and know how to use them?

David Ortiz and the All-Star Game

I love David Ortiz!
I’m happy he wears a Red Sox uniform.
I’m overjoyed that the Red Sox signed him to a new, long contract.
He deserved to win the 2005 MVP trophy.
He deserved to play on the 2005 All-Star team as the DH.
He does NOT deserve to be elected to the 2006 All-Star team as a first baseman.

Ortiz played first base Friday night and he did a fine job at that position and hit a home run. It was the first time he’d played first base since July 16, 2005. By the time the All-Star game is played he may play first base another 10 times. This, alone, should not qualify someone to be elected to that position on an All-Star team.

Let’s look at the other numbers.
I looked up these numbers before the game last night so they do not take into account any stats from Friday’s games. Ortiz was tied with Travis Hafner for the most home runs by all first basemen. He was second behind Travis Hafner in RBI’s. Hafner’s batting average is .331 and Ortiz is batting .268.
In my mind, that puts Hafner over Ortiz when I mark my All-Star ballot.

I wait to vote for my All-Star picks until the middle of June and then I look at and compare all the stats of the players to make my choices. The stats do not tell me how this player fields his position or if they play this position on a regular basis. When I look up Travis Hafner who plays for the Cleveland Indians, guess what I find? He’s their designated hitter also! Let’s see, who plays first base for the Indians? Why it’s Ben Broussard with a .388 batting average this year. Why isn’t he good enough to be considered for the All-Star team?

Each team is only allowed to submit one name per position to be on the All-Star ballot. Kevin Youkilis and Ben Broussard deserve to have their names put on the ballot this year. Kevin Youkilis is hitting .309 and has done a very nice job in the field for the Red Sox. It’s too bad this is a year that the DH won’t be used during the All-Star game but I don’t think their names should be on the ballot if that is not the position they play on a regular basis.

I’m not saying Youkilis or Broussard should be elected to the All-Star team but vote responsibly and write in their names at the bottom of the ballot if you think they are deserving of the recognition. Remember, the All-Star game now means something so we want the best team on the field to win home field advantage for the American League.

A cell phone rings in a lonely hotel room...

(a bit cranky) What?
Bronson, brother! I have Johnny on conference call, hold on!
Why did I answer the phone?
Duude! We heard you were pitching against the Pirates tonight, so we called to celebrate our wins! We rock, dude! John Henry and those guys are bumming now!
I got two hits and two rbi INCLUDING a homerun off of Wake, man! We kicked ass!
I went 0 for 5...but we still WON! Yankees, man, Yankees Universe!
Bronson, how'd you do, brother?
I don't want to talk about it.
Man, I have Sportscenter on...dude says you lost, Bronson! He meant you won, right? I mean, it was the Pirates.
(sighs) I know.
Whoa. You lost? You didn't lose, right? You're their ace! The team lost it, not you. Right?
DUDE!!! He gave up 9 hits and FOUR runs!
It's not a big deal, guys. My ERA is 2.40. I'm 5-2 and the team is only a game and a half behind. No biggie.
Brother, Wily Mo Pena is hitting .322 with four homeruns and 18 rbi.

(disappointed) Really? How do you know that?
Kevin, dude, come on! We're gonna be late for Dollar Beer Night!
(sighs) Man, I miss Dollar Beer Night with Lenny.
I'm gonna go find an oven to stick my head in. (hangs up)
Millar, dude, tell Lenny I said 'hi' and I miss him!
(uncomfortably) Uh, I gotta go, Johnny, see ya 'round! (hangs up)


Related Entries:
A cell phone rings in the middle of the night... (Part 1)
A cell phone rings in the middle of the night... (Part 2)
A cell phone rings late in the afternoon...

With props (or apologies) to Surviving Grady and The Dugout.

Nomar, Mr. Nice Guy

In the Boston Globe story linked in the subject line, Nomar talks about being comfortable playing in L.A. and playing for his former manager, Grady Little. It's a nice piece, bound to make any of Nomar's Boston fans feel happy that the former All Star finally seems to have some peace.

It's no secret that the Boston media hounded Nomar relentlessly while he was in Boston. And when he wouldn't give them that pound of flesh they demanded, many of them turned on him. They wrote stories about his attitude and about how he didn't want to play in Boston any more. None of which ever proved to be factual - not that the media in Boston cares about being factual.

Early in 2004, or maybe late in 2003, I had a discussion with one of my 'sistahs' about Nomar and the Boston sports media. We were both convinced that if Nomar left Boston, it would be because the press pushed him out.

Little did we know what Theo had planned for the 2004 trade deadline.

I often wonder if Nomar really knows how the fans were affected by that trade. In 2004, the trade deadline was on a Saturday. There had been rumblings about Derek Lowe being traded for Matt Clement...a few people speculated that Nomar would be traded, but no one really believed it. I spent that morning and afternoon online at the Red Sox Fan Forum message board, discussing possible trades while watching ESPN News.

When the news came that Nomar was traded, no one could believe it. And then the tears flowed and people were angry. My mother, my sister and I pretty much cried all weekend long. We didn't care about the guys we were getting and we didn't buy Theo's explanation of 'improving the defense'. We felt like Nomar was the scapegoat for a struggling team.

Eventually we got over it to the extent that we embraced the guys who came to the team. Orlando Cabrera and Doug Mientkiewicz ended up making sizeable contributions to the team. (Dave Roberts, although acquired at the trade deadline, is usually, incorrectly connected with this trade. Dave's acquisition was totally unrelated to 'The Trade' as it's still known in Red Sox Nation.) What a lot of us never got over was losing Nomar.

Contrary to what you might hear from the likes of Johnny Damon, Nomar was the last true face of the Red Sox. He was active in the community, he was in commercials, his one word name was a household word. You'd be hard-pressed to find a home in Boston that didn't have something Nomar-related in it.

SO what makes me so happy about this article in the Boston Globe today? This paragraph:

One of Garciaparra's ex-teammates in Boston said the Dodgers and Yankees made the same offer, but Garciaparra chose LA because, ''He always considers himself a Red Sox. That's one thing people don't understand about Nomar. He would have never signed with the Yankees because he always thought of himself as a Red Sox player."

That last line says it all. At least for me it does. I follow many ex-Red Sox players, but never Nomar. Some people think it's because I didn't like him, but it is quite the opposite. Nomar was such a huge part of my life, I can't imagine him anywhere else. I couldn't watch him as a Cub and I have a difficult time watching him as a Dodger. I'll always believe that "The Trade" was a major reason that the Red Sox won the 2004 World Series, but I'll also always be sad that Nomar, although he has a ring, wasn't a bigger part of that season.

And now I know that Nomar feels the same way. I can't wait until he comes back to Fenway (whether with a visiting team or, by some stroke of luck, as a Red Sox player once again!).

Johnny Damon could learn a lesson or two.

To Boo or Not to Boo

One of my good friends was born outside New York City and is a Yankee fan. My husband and I are well known for our fanaticism over the Red Sox so when they see my husband in his Red Sox hat and then spot the guy next to him in the Yankee hat they are astounded they are friends.

My take is if you are from NY than you should be rooting for a NY team. Being born into Red Sox Nation I can’t imagine not being a Red Sox fan no matter where I lived. I like people who are loyal to their teams. I also like a good baseball discussion, regardless of what team is the other person’s favorite.

All that being said, my Yankee friend has really given my blood pressure a work out in the last couple of days. On Tuesday night when the Sox went down by two runs, our home phone began to ring. My husband looks at me and says, you know who that is? I hadn’t even considered who it might be. Hubby was correct; it was Yankee Rick calling to rub in the score. We reminded him it was a bit early to begin to gloat. Not long after, the Sox are now up by three and I tell hubby to give our friend a call. Wouldn’t you know it; he has turned his phone off! Boy he can dish it but he can’t take it.

Wednesday night we meet him at the local watering hole to watch the game together. I had been astounded at how much the Yankee fans had booed both A-Rod and Randy Johnson. I begin a discussion with hubby and Yankee Rick regarding the fact that the Red Sox fans had been chastised in papers across the country for booing Johnny Damon who wasn’t even on our team any longer, but the Yankee fans feel it is okay to boo their own players.

Then I have to sit and hear Yankee Rick's rebuttal on how “classless” Boston fans are for booing Johnny Damon after he had done so much for our team. That it is perfectly all right for fans to boo players on their own team when they don’t perform. Blah…blah….blah…blah.

Well, I’m sorry but I don’t see it that way at all. I feel that Red Sox fans thanked Johnny Damon for his contributions in 2004 for the entire 2005 season every time he came out onto the field or came up to bat. He left the Red Sox on his own accord after lying to the fans that he wouldn’t go to the Yankees, even for the money. I don’t like liars and two faced people and I don’t think it is wrong for the fans to be angry for what they see as a betrayal. All we ask for is honesty. He had our undying devotion and he blew it.

Now as far as the Yankee fans booing their own players I think that is classless and certainly can’t be good for a player’s psyche. I hate it when Red Sox fans do it or fans of any team. Everyone has a bad day and I certainly wouldn’t want to be booed for having one. I also don’t think that the money they earn makes it okay either. I am embarrassed every time I happen to be at Fenway and one of our own players is booed. I believe that only players on the opposing team can be booed.

Since Yankee Rick poo pooed my booing code of conduct, I needed to get this out. I feel better now.

Greatest Trade That Ever Wasn't

It's fun to do this every so often, and last night's game provides the perfect opportunity.

0-for-3. Two fielding errors. A .259 batting average. One "fan" on the Yankees MLB message board called him "so freaking unclutch it isnt funny." A column headline in the New York Post calls him "E-Rod" and even the team's owner is p*ssed.

Such are the life and times of Alex Rodriguez against the Red Sox, the team that almost got him. In the meantime, the player we would have traded to get him went 2-for-4 with a home run and 2 RBI. The man playing the position Rodriguez would have had with the Sox went was 2-for-4 with a home run and 3 RBI. And A-Rod's counterpart at his current position was 2-for-6 and is currently batting .339.

He may be the best five-tool player alive, but we continue to be glad that trade fell apart. And we don't need his purple lips either.

Do you know me?

• I've been playing in Major League Baseball for eight years
• I was an All-Star for three consecutive seasons
• I have a Silver Slugger and a Gold Glove
• I made 7.5 million dollars last season
• My batting average currently leads my team
• I was on the 2003 Marlins team that humiliated the Yankees in the World Series!

But do I get articles written about me discussing what my at-bat music should be? No.

Do I get a specialized shirt at The Yawkey Way Store? Hell no! (And may I remind you all that Coco is on the DL, folks? HE ISN'T EVEN PLAYING and all I see at Fenway are Coco t-shirts!)

I hit three doubles on Friday night, made (if I do say so myself) an amazing, diving catch and I stole third base...third base, folks, do you KNOW how hard it is to steal third? I do all this and who gets the biggest ovation of the night?

This guy: I mean come on!

Half of the Boston sports media wrote me off. Oh, Theo was just letting me tag along so the Red Sox could sign Josh Beckett. How's that working out? I'll tell you how. Beckett's ERA is 4.86. (Have I mentioned that my .339 average leads the team?) Beckett has been struggling, while I'm becoming the double king of the east coast! But who gets all the publicity? Beckett.

I know how you people like to compare us to the Yankees, so let's compare me to their third baseman, okay? Hell, Alex Rodriguez is only hitting .266 with a measly four doubles. Do you know how many doubles I have? SEVENTEEN! Not such a big deal...except that it IS since I'm leading the freaking league right now!

So where is the love? Where is the respect? Most importantly...where the hell are the groupies?

No, seriously. Where are they? I spent Friday night watching NESN's midnight replay of the game. I was awesome! Instead of sitting in front of the television letting my cat eat out of the tv dinner tray, I should have been surrounded by beautiful women. But was I? No. Lenny Dinardo can barely get the ball over the plate...the women are all over him. Kevin Youkilis? Looks like a bald troll doll...can't take five steps away from Fenway without tripping over some gal throwing herself at him.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?????

I'm sorry. It was a long day at Fenway and in 24 hours I'll be sitting in a hotel room in New York, preparing for my first foray into Yankee Stadium in a Red Sox uniform. I'm a little stressed.

Maybe the New York chicks will know how to appreciate a real third basemen?

Or, I could become a Yankee killer. That'll get me some nice write-ups, my own funky t-shirts and all the Red Sox chickies I could ever want. That'll work.

I guess I can wait.

A cell phone rings late in the afternoon...

(Author's note: I had to beat the evil Beazer to the punch...)

Hello?
Bronson, what's up, man? I didn't expect you to pick up—don't you guys have a game or something?
Yeah, I just ran into the clubhouse to take a leak. Too much gatorade.
Well take the phone with you, dude, I have to tell you all about my two-hitter!
Two-hitter? C'mon, Lenny, last I checked, you threw four walks in a row in the first inning. Crap, you find new and exciting ways to blow it, don't you?
Yeah, but that's the beauty of walks, man, they're not hits. Two hits, B, and my first major league win! I feel like a new man.
I don't get it. You walked home a run and they let you finish the game?
Hell no, they pulled me after five. But I only gave up two runs. That cut my ERA like in half, dude! OK, maybe not in half, but I'm telling you, B, I'm moving on up. They love me again!
<flushing sound>
B, you listening to me?
Yeah, I'm here, just have to zip up... I don't know, dude, you sound delusional.
Hey, why can't you just be happy for me? I didn't rain on your parade when you had your little winning streak, which I noticed is over.
Well at least my streak was more than one game. And you can't blame me for that loss, dude. It isn't my fault my whole team forgot how to hit.
Jeez, man, now you sound like Wakefield. "They don't give me any run support..."
What? How'd I get dragged into this?
No offense, I'm just trying to make a point to my so-called friend here... Anyway, listen B, I gotta run. Tek took some big-time heat off me with a grand salami, so I owe him.
Let me guess. Breakfast.
I don't know, he keeps saying it's something more "personal," whatever that means. And, um, Bronson <whispering> he's looking at me kind of funny. It's creeping me out.
Ha ha, don't worry dude, he doesn't bite... much... <muffled laughter>
Tek, you ready to go?
Bronson, save me...
Sorry, Cap'n, he's your problem now. <click>