The scene is Worcester, Massachusetts, around 6:00pm this evening. I'm leaving work and heading to Hanover Insurance Park at Holy Cross College for opening night of the independent Worcester Tornadoes, which in its first year of existence won the 2005 Can-Am League championship. I have a single ticket to the sold-out game.
Meanwhile, not far away in Boston, Beazer is riding the T on her way to Fenway Park to watch the Sox and Yankees in the second of their three-game series. It's less than 24 hours since the Good Guys summarily dispatched the Evil Empire by a score of 9-5, though it wasn't even as close as that sounds. Beazer too has a single ticket for her game.
I ring up Beazer on the cell phone. Do me a favor, I ask, text message me with updates. I'll be at the Tornadoes game. No problem, she says.
Slightly more than an hour later, while I'm watching the Tornadoes get their rings, the cell phone vibrates. It's an incoming text message...
WARNING: The following exchange has not been edited. If you are offended by vulgar language or poor punctuation, STOP READING NOW.
7:09 - Beazer - Demon just led off the game with a home run
7:10 - Triumphant Red Sox Fan - Fuck.
7:12 - Beazer - Wake got the rest of the side out
7:51 - Beazer - 2-0 yanks in the third
7:51 - Triumphant - How did the 2nd run score?
7:57 - Beazer - Did i say 2 i meant 3 fucking demon hit a double
8:02 - Triumphant - I hate him.
8:09 - Beazer - As do i
8:17 - Beazer - Men lob are killing them
8:42 - Beazer - I'm freezing they are losing and batshit tavares is warming up
8:42 - Beazer - Dougie has two passed balls one just resulted in the yanks fourth run
8:54 - Triumphant - I don't suppose it would make you feel better to know that the Tomatoes [inside joke name for the Tornadoes] are winning...
9:02 - Triumphant - 4-1, I hear. How did we score?
9:02 - Beazer - At least one of us is having fun fucking jt snow just killed a rally with a double play dougie knocked in a run for us
9:10 - Beazer - Slappy just hit a three run home run tavares is now in maybe he'll hit posada
9:15 - Triumphant - So what you're saying is that spilled MFY [Mother F***ing Yankees] blood will make it OK?
9:21 - Beazer - Pretty much
9:27 - Triumphant - Just keep reminding yourself that whatever happens tonight, the MFY still won't be in 1st place when they leave.
9:28 - Beazer - That is what makes this not so bad
9:29 - Beazer - Holy shit manny just made it 7-4 with one out!
9:31 - Triumphant - What inning?
9:33 - Beazer - 7
9:33 - Beazer - The yankees lefty specialist just walked trot
9:42 - Beazer - Doug mirabelli - rally killer - 7-4 yanks top of eighth and david riske is in did they send down lenny?
9:44 - Triumphant - THEY SENT LENNY DOWN?? :(
9:47 - Beazer - I dont know someone had to go i dont know who
10:02 - Beazer - Farnsworth just imploded in the 8 two on one out and torre brought in rivera to pitch to papi
10:02 - Triumphant - Holding my breath...
10:06 - Beazer - Papi got out manny hit a single that knocked in a run trot is up
10:07 - Beazer - Trot is out 7-5 top of the ninth
10:07 - Triumphant - Tomatoes closer just coughed up a 3 run lead, tie game, 1 out. Grrrr...
10:09 - Beazer - Oh for cryin out loud what is with our boys all around
10:11 - Beazer - Papelbon is in to face the top of the lineup
10:20 - Triumphant - Are you alive?
10:21 - Beazer - Mohr is our last chance
10:25 - Beazer - Mohr is out game over 7-5 i hate demon and slappy
10:25 - Triumphant - Yeah, T's just lost too. Fuck.
10:29 - Beazer - Well this night sucked
And that, dear readers, is a glimpse into the life of two sistahs who go to ball games alone... but are you ever really alone when you and a sistah both have cell phones and know how to use them?