Thursday, February 08, 2007

A cell phone rings in Cincinnati

::stares at his phone:: Come on, Bronson, I know you're there!
::answers the phone with a heavy sigh:: Hey, Len.
Bronson, man, CONGRATULATIONS! $25 million more with two more years. TWENTY FIVE MILLION! Way to go, man!
Thanks? That's it? Thanks? Bronson, aren't you happy?
Happy? Yeah, I guess so.
You don't sound happy. Are you drunk?
No, I'm not drunk. I'm just sitting here reading my new contract.
Dude, how cool is that? The Reds hooked you up until 2010 and threw stupid money at you!!! You should buy Theo a fruit basket.
A fruitbasket? Lenny, I just signed a contract that practically guarantees I'll spend the next five years in Cincinnati. CINCINNATI.
For an extra twenty-five million dollars, dude!
Lenny, you've never been to Cincinnati, have you?
Well, no. I've flown OVER it though. It looks nice.
(sighs) I guess.
Hey, they have the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, there!

Lenny, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is in Cleveland.
I knew that. (long pause) Hey, Bron, look at it this way, 2o1o is in three years. By then you could throw out your shoulder or get hit in the head with a line drive!
Well, at least I have that going for me.
Don't be sad, Bronson. Think of all that money you're going to make.
I know, Len. But now that I've signed this extension, I realize that money isn't everything:

(Photo by Matthew Bower)

Related Entries:
A cell phone rings in the middle of the night... (Part 1)
A cell phone rings in the middle of the night... (Part 2)
A cell phone rings late in the afternoon...
A cell phone rings in a lonely hotel room...
Somewhere in Kansas City, a cell phone rings...
A cell phone rings in Boston

With props (or apologies) to Surviving Grady and The Dugout.

(Beazer's note: I'm both sad and happy about this. So right now, this is the best I can do. Kick some ass in Cincinnati, B. - Or, suck it big time so that Krivsky wants to trade you! That would work too!)


Brenken said...

Cyn, I was listening to Colin Cowherd the other day (I'm pretty sure it was Colin and not Dan Patrick) who was doing a bit where he'd say:
"Honestly, I can't wait to see Matsuzaka pitch."
"Honestly, the Red Sox are more exciting than your team."
Those are two I remember (what a shock, huh?) and then he said, "Honestly, players care more about money than fans think they do."
Bronson wasn't all about the money when he signed his contract with Boston and look where it got him...Cincinnati! He's had a bit of a reality check and now it's going to be about the $$$$ while it can be.
Good for Bronson!

Beazer said...

I agree, Brenken! I'm not normally happy for players who just think about the money, but Bronson learned last year that he can't get by just on following his heart. I really AM happy for him. :-)

The Triumphant Red Sox Fan said...

There's a great zoo in Cincinnati, and there are floating casinos on the river...