How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count the Ways

After that unfortunate loss on Wednesday night against Toronto, closer-for-now Jonathan Papelbon got back into form in game 2 of the series, earning his 11th save in as many chances. (Contrary to what one co-worker believes, the loss was not a blown save, since he came into a tie game.) There are so many reasons to love this guy, so let's start with the baseball reasons.

Games: 16
Innings: 17
Hits: 11
Runs: 1
Walks: 2
Strikeouts: 17
Ground Ball Outs: 15
Fly Ball Outs: 21
Earned Run Average: 0.53
Walks + Hits per Inning Pitched: 0.76
Batting Average Against: .183
Average Pitches per Batter: 5

The man has nerves of steel, performing as steadily against the Yankees or Blue Jays as he does against the Devil Rays or Mariners. "Ice water in his veins" is how they describe it. He doesn't get rattled in front of the crazed home fans or the hostile road fans. Even after giving up his first run of the season on three singles, he left it behind and embarked on a new streak of shutout ball. Nobody's perfect, so why should he worry? Any pitcher would love to have 14 stellar outings out of every 15.

Then there are the non-baseball reasons we heart Jonathan.

He does that nice leaning thing when posing for a picture (shown here with Beazer).

He's willing to sign the shirt on your—or in this case, my—back.

He is self-confident enough to walk around, however temporarily, looking like this.

And though he pitches like a seasoned veteran, he's still willing to do his rookie time.

Just Like Old Times

Doug Mirabelli is back! And with his return comes the end of the Josh Bard Era, ever to be known by Red Sox fans as the "Please, not another passed ball!" era. This is clearly good news, especially since the Yankees are in town tonight and Tim "Yankee Killer" Wakefield really doesn't need all that sloppiness behind the plate to distract him from the task at hand.

Besides, Mirabelli is so much more adorable than Bard, isn't he?

A cell phone rings in the middle of the night... (Part 2)

(wearily) Hi Lenny.
Hey, B! S'up?
S'up? Lenny, you got your ass kicked again. That's "S'up"!
Dude, didn't you watch the whole game?
I didn't watch any of the game, Len. Johnny text messaged me updates.
Sox are getting their asses kicked, dude! Man, they sure do miss us!
B, dude...we won!
No way!
Way!
Crap!
Cool. Did you get the win?
Well, no. Foulkie got the win.
Burger King for everyone, bitches!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, it looks like they saved your ass, yet again, dude.
Dude! That is so uncool!
I know, dude! The truth hurts. Just wait until they get Clemens...you'll be singing the blues in Pawtucket.
That's funny, B. I'm not the singer, you are.
Singer? Bro, he doesn't even know one Kenny Chesney song!
Listen, Len, I have to go...Dave Weathers...
Yeah, yeah...I know. Big deal. I have breakfast plans too!
Who would take you to breakfast?
Dude, he's not taking me. I'm taking him.
Wild thing. I make my heart sing.
(sighs and hangs up the phone)

Edited to add props (or apologies) to Surviving Grady and The Dugout.

The Face of Red Sox Nation?

Every new baseball season there are always a new crop of ads on NESN that I usually find mildly amusing. It always tickles me to see the players doing ads the first few times you see it. Oh, by about the 1,000th time I heard Curt practicing his Boston accent or hitching a ride to "break a curse" it wasn't so amusing any longer.

I find myself chuckling this year over Wake ripping his shirt open to show a Sox t-shirt and holding up baby clothes he bought at the Yawkey Way Store, one upping Don Orsillo. I am still waiting for this year's Bob Store commercial, as last years put a smile on my face every time I saw it.

Now that being said there is a new commercial out there which has really struck a nerve with me. I've tried to ignore it all together but somehow I always seem to still catch the end of the commercial which is the worst part of all. The commercial in question is the new NESN commercial for Red Sox Nation. The one where they interview all these average Joes around Boston making comments about the Red Sox. The guys all look very average with a Sox jersey on or in fireman's gear. Then they show the women of Red Sox Nation. They're all dolled up and making comments about their beloved Sox team. So what is the problem?

Why aren't any of the women average looking wearing Red Sox gear or in uniform? I wouldn't mind if they had one young and gorgeous woman commenting but why all of them? I guess I thought that maybe NESN realized how large a proportion of Red Sox Nation were women. It irritates me that they are focusing their marketing campaign on men when we are such a large part of this baseball town. I know it is totally silly of me but when I see the Hazel Mae look alike at the end of the commercial saying "and then there's Manny being Manny", I just cringe.

A cell phone rings in the middle of the night...

(groggily) Hello?
(whispering) B...is that you, dude?
Lenny? Why are you whispering?
Dude, they locked me in Roy Halladay's foot locker. I had to hide my cell phone in my butt...
What? Len, what are you talking about?
It's payback for today's game...they told me I need to smell the stink of a real major league pitcher. Man, I'm gonna yack soon!
It was one bad game, dude, shake it off. Look at me. Last year I was a mediocre pitcher with a mediocre cd out...this year I'm the Ace of the team. Go figure.
B, my ERA is almost EIGHT! Boomer isn't coming back and my next start is going to be against Tampa Bay...TAMPA BAY, man!
Lenny, Tampa Bay is the worst team in the league.
Yeah, but they play in a domed stadium...just like the Blue Jays....
Lenny, you didn't have a bad game because you were under a dome...you had a bad game because you suck.
Bronson!
Dude, I'm sorry but it's true. You're cute, but you suck. You sucked last year, you sucked in 2004, hell the only reason you have that World Series Championship ring is because I talked Theo into keeping you around. Now that I'm not there...dude, your days are numbered.
But, B...
Listen, Len, I have to go...Dave Weathers is taking me to an early breakfast...
Dave Weathers???? Bronson he's like a hundred years old.
Thirty-seven. But so what? His ERA is under four...and he has a bitchin' car!
Bronson, wait...how do I get out of Roy Halladay's foot locker? How do I get everyone to love me again???
Dude...I got my ass shipped to friggin' Cincinnati...how the hell would I know?
(sighs and hangs up the phone)

Edited to add props (or apologies) to Surviving Grady and The Dugout.